Work At Home Despite An Uncooperative Spouse
As soon as we make the decision to shift from an traditional nine to five, to a work at home scenario, a few of us face a dilemma. Sometimes our spouse is not as eager as we are to accept the transition. This may even be the case if our spouse is generally good natured. Often times we find ourselves engaged in arguments to dictate the control over out own careers.
Such as situation can result in extreme frustration. However, it is critical to understand that our spouses more than likely have a legitimate reason for being concerned. Unfortunately, communication barriers often cause concerns to be expressed in erratic ways, which have the appearance of pure negativity. If you suspect that this has become the case in your home, you need to take the initiative, and open the lines of communication between you and your spouse.
Encourage open conversation, and do not become defensive if you hear something that you do not agree with. Rather, attempt to walk in the shoes of your spouse, and point out to your spouse why he or she need not be concerned.
Below are five of the most common concerns which husbands and wives have about their spouses working from home, and ideas of how these concerns can be addressed.
1. Decreased Income
Your spouse is worried that you will not be able to generate the same income as your did with your nine to five job. Unfortunately, your spouse has a legitimate concern here. It is somewhat common knowledge that a work at home scenario initially generates far less income than an office job.
If your spouse earns enough income to cover the monthly domestic expenses, he or she may be amenable to a temporary reduced income. However, if your spouse's income is not high enough to cover your expenses, you need to come up with some sort of compromise, rather than go into debt and financial hardship. Possible compromises may involve keeping your regular job and working to build your own business after work hours. Alternatively, you can work a part-time job to subsidize the income that your home business is not yet generating.
Another solution is to focus on cutting out unnecessary expenses prior to leaving your nine to five. Thereafter, you can build up enough savings to account for your short-term loss of income for the first several months of working at home. Try and aim for savings of at least six months to twelve months of your normal salary. How much you need to save will ultimately depend on your expenses, as well as the nature of the business you are working tow ards.
2. Sacrificing Luxuries
Maybe your spouse is not really interested in cutting out unnecessary expenses. His or her primary concern might be that you will have to give up the extras which your current salaries combined make possible. Things such as sporting events, nice restaurants, recreational vehicles, etc. If this is your situation, your spouse does have a legitimate concern. While most of us do spend more money than necessary on luxury items, it really is not fair to expect our spouses to give up some of the things which might make going to work everyday more bearable for him or her.
However, if your spouse is willing to work with you to make your dream come true, that is what marriage is really about. You are a team, and should be able to agree on some smaller sacrifices which you can both temporarily make. You and your spouse will need to take a hard look at where your financing are going monthly, or even weekly. Once you do this, you will realize that there are definitely luxuries which you can do without. For instance, rather than going tout to dinner three times a week, cut down to once every two weeks, and replace that activity with something equally as enjoyable, but less expensive. Perhaps you can try your hand and cooking new recipes at home.
3. Work At Home Is Not Real Work
This can be where things get ugly. If your spouse believes that you will be sitting at home and accomplish nothing if you work at home, this is a real problem. Perhaps they believe that since the television is accessible, and the phone is right there, you plan to watch television and talk on the phone all day. If you are not yet working at home, this can be one of the major challenges which you will face in convincing your spouse that you do indeed plan to work. You can do this by accounting for your days ahead of time. Explain to your spouse the type of work you plan to do, how many hours per day you plan to work, and how much income you are planning to earn. This can help put things into measurable perspective for your spouse.
If you are already working at home, and your spouse treats it as though you are just kicking back and having fun all day, it might be a good idea to have him or her sit down with you for half a day, and demonstrate exactly how you spend your hours. Of course, once your spouse sees the paycheck, they will probably want to work at home as well.
4. They Are All Scams
Unfortunately, our spouses are often cynical about work at home jobs. This is not surprising. Scams are so prevalent today, that they are just looking out for us. Even worse is a situation where they know of someone who has already gotten taken by a fraudulent work at home opportunity. This might have jaded their opinions toward all home business opportunities.
In situations such as these, you need evidence to build your case. Show your spouse the websites of legitimate companies which hire telecommuters, or have him or her read postings on a work at home forum. Once again, as soon as your spouse sees your paycheck, they will probably want to work at home as well.
5. Green With Envy
I am not trying to cause problems, but you should not put it past your spouse to be harboring a sense of jealousy. Perhaps the feeling are subconscious. They may be wondering why you should get to sit at home in your most com fortable pair of sweats and earn an income when he or she has to commute to a job that they dislike. This is completely understandable. If the roles were reversed, many of us would have the same sense of jealousy.
While this is a sticky situation, it is not an impossible one. If your spouse in unhappy with their job, perhaps you can talk to him or her about transitioning into a home based career as well. In this instance, your spouse may be more apt to compromise by allowing your to build your business to the point where it can support the household, independent of his or her current job. At that point, your spouse would be free to pursue their own business venture.
Ultimately, I believe that our spouses truly want us to be happy in our work, just as we wish the same for them. Initially, it might take some time to convince them that it is possible, feasible, and beneficial to work at home. If you find that the aforementioned suggestions have not yet convinced your spouse that you are doing the right thing, you may need to put some figures on paper to illustrate how much money you can save by working at home. All it may take is simply listing the benefits of having one parent at home, and cutting out the need for expensive daycare.
We just might need to work on them a little to convince them working at home is not only possible, but beneficial for everyone. If the above suggestions haven't convinced your spouse, you might need to put some figures down in black and white and show your spouse how much it costs to work outside the home. You might need to list the benefits of having one parent at home, or ask them to give you the benefit of the doubt and let you prove your ability to make it work.
The fact of the matter is that everyone in your household will be happier if you can come to some sort of an agreement, as opposed to agreeing to disagree. If your spouse outright refuses to compromise on your desire to work at home, you will probably be facing dome difficult decisions. The best advice which I can bestow upon your is that you need to consider your options carefully and fully. Make the decision which you feel would benefit everyone the most, including your spouse.
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